Lets talk about things that we don’t want to talk about…

Photo on 2014-03-04 at 14.49

Dear Reader!

Life is filled with wonders; a good life for me is filled with my family and friends, good food, good books, good movies, good sex and so much other good stuff.

We tend to forget that there are a whole different shade of life out there, and there are so much we don’t manage to or want to talk about. We tend to not talk about a lot of problems in life because most people just want happy, happy times, and we know the net trolls, the ignorant, the uneducated, the unwritten laws, the religious extremists are there to beat us down when we open our mouth.

I want to talk about it anyway, since the I think we need to talk about it, a lot!

There were, quoted from the “Norwegian Folkehelseinstitutt” pages, http://www.fhi.no,  515 people that killed themselves in Norway in 2012. The year before it was 598 people. It is 3 times more boys than girls in those statistics, and these numbers have been almost constant for the last 20 years. In addition, it is said that about 10% of the car accidents in Norway camouflage as suicides. At every new election we are promised changed times in the institutions that help people to deal with drugs, life crises and mental illnesses, which are where the statistics highlights that there are main danger areas for suicides.

And yet, nothing is happening. And this statistic does not include all the family members and the friends that get their life put on hold, for a long time. It doesn’t included the people that has tried to end their life.It doesn’t include the ones that maybe are heading for suicides; people with depressions (here described by the people that is taking medication), which is at record high levels in Norway (this was 2014 numbers), http://theforeigner.no/pages /news/depression-among-norwegian-adolescents-at-record-level, and girls in age 15-19 seem to have been hit hardest.

The boys have a much harder time to seek help, and have a much harder time talking about their problems. In a society that shall not speak about what is a problem, we are thought to continue to embrace the perfection and glittery facade. To be perfect is a norm this days, and one tend to forget if one need drugs, operations and other “help” to succeed, it is usually not worth the price. Or if one go on and on, and never listen to your body and do not give it enough sleep, exercise  and love.The after effects come suddenly and brutally into our lives when our body stops functioning like we want it.

Let us remember that if WE TALK about our problems, they will usually be more manageable!! I had an interesting talk at school the other day, I complained after last year, I was very mentally tired and much of my motivation to do good had disappeared. After spending the whole summer ill, and with pain and no energy, it was hard to start a new year -and have energy to be motivated and do all the work that I need to do. Yes, I am sometimes a pain, but I do think if I had not talked about it, it would have grown out of proportions. I would not have become aware that is was a problem, and I would not have looked closer on what I needed to do to make it better. I was told by several of my fellow younger students that talking about it would just make it worse, and I shouldn’t talk about things like this. Surprisingly, not, it was males that suggested this.

Life has so many phases, it involves a long to be loved, to be heard and seen. I have lived a life that I have had to take a lot of hard decisions, and I have never let me stop by what I supposed to do. Who are telling me that anyway; is it the others that live after their rules, is it the society, is it traditions, or is it what we in Norway calls “Janteloven” which tells you that you are not supposed to be better that others? I try as good as I can to live a wonderful life, for me, and on the same time try not to hurt anyone else. Of course that is impossible, but when one get older, I have come to the conclusion that I don’t need to please everyone, just the ones that I know are loving it.

I am also having problems with the extreme feminists that are not wanting to be part of a life; we women should be on the barricades all the time for 1000 of different reasons just because we are born female. I have been on the barricades for most of my grown up life by doing what I want to do, and if that include to piss on or to challenge traditions, that is fine. But I love being a woman with sex wanting, with love and sadness, with pain, feelings and much smartness. It has been a lot of females that I have seen which has totally lost its female self, because they want to live in a “mans world”. I want to live in the world, and I want to do what I would love to do, and I usually go for it. If I had lived in the 1600 century, I would certainly have been a cast out, or I could just move to a patriarchal led country today, and I would have serious problems.

We tend to forget that even if we have all this fast and wonderful news and computers and we live in a quick, quick world, humans are social animals that need love and tender care, and we need downtime to actually enjoy life. Just because computers are faster, our body reactions are not. People say that grief goes away, just give it time. But it only changes color after time, it will be with us our whole life. It shapes us and makes us the people we are.

I have finally learned to give myself, periodically downtime, to remember that both my body and soul need time to relax and feel good, to get my motivation and colors back, and to feel that I can give 100% to school and therefore contribute to my well being.

Have a nice Monday, and if you dare, sit down to talk to your friends and family! If you think you have NO problems anywhere and life is rose red and fantastic all the time, then maybe you have turned into a cyborg, and need an update…Or if you think you are the ONLY one with a problem that can’t be solved and it is getting so big that it swallows you, think again. Yet it is no problem that has gone before you that one has not seen before.


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